Recently, I was counselling a young man who was in torment over a corrective comment I made about his inappropriate behaviour. Months later he was still struggling to come to terms with my correction. One minute he was in agreement that he had done something wrong, and the next minute he was struggling to accept that he really had done anything bad. His mind would flip from one decision to the opposite analysis and he would convince himself that I had misunderstood his intentions, or explain that he hadn’t really done it, because it was only in his head so it hadn’t really happened.
My Bible says that if you’ve done it in your heart, then you’ve done it, but narcissism won’t accept that as the truth.
Ignorant Psychological Imbalance
Sadly, most of the Christians I’ve counselled over my 24 years of ministry have consistently displayed the psychological imbalance of bipolar narcissism.
Convinced that they are genuine Christians, they have no understanding whatsoever that their spirits are just white-washed sepulchers. You can talk to them and even convince them that they are mis-evaluating their spirit’s condition, but ultimately, they can’t accept your diagnosis, and therefore, they won’t take the medicine that would convert them.
Narcissism derives it’s meaning from Greek Mythology where a youth fell in love with his own reflection in a pond to such an extent that he pined away and died. Nothing else mattered than to have his self-image honored, and even worshiped and adored. Everything he did was to propagate his own self-image. Thus, he could never love anything. He just used everyone to manipulate them to love him, and he called this, love.
That’s why the Word of God declares in 1 Corinthians 13, that you can give all your money to the poor and even give your body to be burned but it avails nothing if it isn’t done because of your love for Christ. If you do anything to prove that you are good, or right, or loving, then you are doing it for yourself, and that’s narcissism.
In spiritual terms, a narcissistic Christian is simply someone who worships Jesus for the love of themselves. They believe they are so good that God would love them unreservedly and favour them. Their belief is … I love me so much, I can’t believe that you wouldn’t love me too, so if you challenge my thinking you must be wrong. They’re not a genuine Christian and they’re not saved from hell; they’re just using God to justify their own self-worship, and they’re committed to Jesus and do what He wants as long as it promotes their self-worth.
The diagnosis of a narcissistic Christian comes at the point of correction. Any suggestion that they made a mistake sets them in a spin. All they want to do is explain their thinking so you will understand why they did it. They’re so wrapped up in what people think of them they have to restore their self-image at any cost. In their heart they know you’re right, but their mind refuses to accept it a true, so they display bi-polar syndrome.
Narcissism is the fruit of no correction, or the fruit of defiance when you are corrected.
Bi-Polar simply means being in two minds. It’s the modern term for schizophrenia. More than one personality dwelling in the same body. You see, if a person is above correction by explaining it away, then what they’re really saying is … you can’t tell me my own mind. Two personalities are really just the evidence of two spirits operating through you … you and a demon, and sometimes, Holy Spirit. If you can’t bring your mind consistently to faith in Jesus Christ when Satan tempts you with sweet voices like those of the mythological sirens, then Satan has you in his clutches through demonic occupation (2 Timothy 2;26) of your spirit, and you evaluate and analyse under the influence of this demon.
To a narcissist, their mind is correct, but to a righteous shepherd, if a narcissist’s mind can’t be brought to correction, then that person is spiritually bi-polar, like King Saul and the Pharisees.
The … Love doesn’t hurt my feelings Lie
Bi-Polar and Narcissism is really just a modern psychological way of describing “pride”. Nobody likes being told they’re proud, so they cover it with niceness, good works, generosity, skills, friendliness and any means that will hide their true self. A narcissist just can’t handle being told they’re wrong, but the real problem is that they’re just too proud to be told anything negative about themselves because it hurts their feelings and love doesn’t hurt feelings. To their mind, they’re infallible, and infallibility thinking is just further proof that a narcissist doesn’t really believe that they need God; they can do it all themselves; they can even save themselves. A narcissist believes God needs them. But the cover-up actually blocks their salvation, because Jesus came to save you from your pride, so if you won’t expose it, He can’t save you. If correction doesn’t hurt your feelings, then it’s not correction.
In Judges 13 to 16, we read the story of a man who was given a powerful gift to use for God, but he decided he was the man and no one was going to tell him what to do, including his parents. God used Him for His purposes up to a point. He was so proud and full of his own self-image that even though he knew that the Philistines were laying in wait for him whilst he was committing fornication, he had full confidence in his self-ability to defeat them. He was totally narcissistic and bi-polar. Two different spirits operated through his body. The only way God could bring him to his senses and to his right mind was for him to lose his power and his eyes. How arrogant and stubborn that one has to lose their eyes before they’ll see.
Sadly, my experience with people is that most believe they are ‘special’ or they think they have an important job to do, when really, all it is that they are too proud to see their stubbornness and arrogant pride. Their parents have told them they are special and they like it; but the truth is, like Cain, Joseph’s brothers, and Esau, they’re just secretly envious of their sibling’s favour. Narcissism is just really someone being full of the hate of someone else being more favoured. Their envy feeds their wounded pride, and like King Saul, most get occupied by demons, but a few like Samson wake up in the face of trauma.
James 1:4 declares that the trials of our faith are for patience so that we learn to trust God by faith and want nothing other than to serve His will. If this isn’t the heart’s true objective then, the consequence is double-mindedness (v.8), or in other words, bi-polar. If you really want something instead of nothing, then you are trying to hide your narcissism and bi-polarity with a lie.
Once you secretly hide behind niceness, spirits of lying and spirits of fear will torment you. 1 John 4:18 declares … there is no fear in love. Fear has torment. Instead of experiencing the peace of God which passes all understanding, you’ll suffer from the torment of spirits of fear. Instead of owning the truth about your wrong, a narcissist ultimately always comes up with an explanation that justifies their decision, but it’s never the real truth; it’s always a truthful lie. Instead of repenting, you’ll reinforce the occupation of your spirit by lying spirits that will stimulate your fears.
Great peace have they which love My law and nothing shall offend them, Psalm 119:165. Instead of peace, you’ll be constantly offended at any suggestion that you may have done something wrong or offended at any defamatory comment, and you’ll suffer the torment of your fears, yet in your stubbornness of rightness you’ll explain it away as the corrector’s misunderstanding error.
It’s interesting to note that the Greek word for torment is also translated in Matthew 25:46 as everlasting punishment. When you’re tormented by your fears, God is giving you a taste of what hell feels like in the hope you’ll wake up and see.
Love the World
Why are so many so-called Christians, bipolar. My experience is, they want to serve God, but they also want the world, so, like Samson, they live in two camps, trapped by the fantasies of their narcissism, afraid of persecution, afraid to be thought less-of, and afraid to really commit in case they lose what the world offers, and therefore, the love of the Father is not in them. Everyone is bipolar until they commit to Jesus Christ. He’s the only solution.
May God open the eyes of His remnant before our service is all wasted like Samson.
Pastor Clyde Rudledge